Finding The Road Home
Giuliana Fenech • November 16, 2019
| Meeting and speaking with over 600 parents of 5 – 10 year old children this month has given me much to reflect on. I feel humbled by the tears of a single mum who spoke of her exhaustion in trying to reassure her daughter that she would never leave her, the fear of a grandmother who finds herself raising three young children because her daughter is unwell, a businessman who is caught up working long hours but desperately wants to remain close to his children because he knows first-hand what it is like to have an absent father. These conversations began when I asked parents to share their biggest challenges with me and what they would wish for if they had just one wish. I have often thought about this myself. Especially as in the run up to my fortieth birthday memories from years ago, when my newborn twins were in ICU, came up. And a particular one, a particular memory of a day when I was sat next to their incubators and one of their nurses came around to give me a hug because she realised I was crying. ‘Ah yes.’ she muttered, ‘That’s it now. From today on you will always live with your heart outside of your body.’ Do you feel that this is you too? Speaking to all these parents, I've realised that for most of us each day is measured by how well or not our children seem to manage their lives, responsibilities and emotions. If our children end their day feeling calm and at peace, we feel a sense of satisfaction and wellbeing. If they are feeling sad or anxious, we worry and sometimes even feel guilty that we could have done better as parents. We want our children to know and feel that they are safe, loved and precious. We want them to know that whatever happens we will always be there for them. Even on those days when everyone is tired and tempers flare or someone says a hurtful thing instead of a helpful one, we want our children to know that this is home. That we are home. Parenting is hard and it is non-stop. Just like a full-body contact sport you have to be constantly focused and constantly on top of things or you get slammed to the ground. So, what would I wish for if I had just one wish? I would wish that my children always find the road home, that even through the difficulties and the challenges they will always know that they are safe, loved and precious. I would wish that all of our children know that they belong because belonging allows us to live our lives more fully. |
| The Road Home
By Katie Cotton Fly with me to far away, where sun still warms the ground, For winter’s in the dying light And in that windswept sound. Our wings are sore There’s far to go Before our flight is flown. This road is hard, this road is long, This road that leads us home. Build with me with sticks of straw And leaves from nearby lands Curl them high above our heads – Forget your aching hands. For safety is a precious place, A place to call our own. This road is hard, this road is long, This road that leads us home. Hunt with me through light and shade And hear the woodland cry We’ve claws to grip and jaws to bite And prey is close nearby. For hunger is a burning thing That settles like a stone, This road is hard, this road is long, This road that leads us home. Come with me through tangled trees And thorns that grasp our coats. The air is cold and sharp as ice, It chills our trembling throats. For Wolf is near, His name is Fear. He wants us for his own. This road is hard, this road is long, This road that leads us home. Now, at last, we’re safe and sound, Safe in cosy deep. Let’s curl up close, lost in leaves, Lost in velvet sleep. |
Taken from the beautiful book by Katie Cotton and Sarah Jacoby, The Road Home
If you need help finding the right stories for your children, email us to ask about our parent support programme, Children Who Belong
In this programme (launching December 1st), we show you how to use this solution in everyday life and you even get personal coaching from Giuliana, who helps you find the best stories for your family. Our email address is hello@curiousandcourageous.com
Hope you are doing OK. Listen, I just read an article which really upset me. It wasn't saying anything new but it's still sad. The title read: 'Pandemic toll on mental health continues to deepen and the rise in self harm reaches an all time peak.' I want to remind you, remind myself, to take care of US...not just all those around us but also ourselves. What makes you happy? What gives you joy? We must remember to do more of those things. Perhaps we can share tips with one another on how we practice self care...I'll put a post up in our Facebook group for this tomorrow. Join Storytelling With Children As you reflect on this, I want you to know that I am sending you a big hug and I want to remind you that there are many ways in which you can connect with us to receive support. 🙏You can join our FB group and engage with the content that we post there. 🙏You can sign up for our storytelling club, which gives you and the children something to look forward to each month and a delicious themed story pack to share together. Sign up here and use the coupon HALFOFFSTORY to get a 50% discount. 🙏You can create your own story and send it to us. Writing and creating can be therapeutic...don't worry about writing the perfect story or following the rules or anything like that. Just tap into your 6 year old inner child and let yourself have fun! Please take good care of yourself, ok? Reach out to a friend, reach out to us. Be aware of your wellbeing ❤ Now...on to the subject of my email today. So many parents are surprised by the fact that their children love hearing stories. In my conversations with you, you always tell me, 'The more stories I tell my children, the more stories they want to hear!' 😍😏🙄 I want to share the reasons why this happens because, you see, it is not random. Quite the opposite. Your children's love for stories is connected to their cognitive and emotional development. Between the ages of 5 to 10 and even younger, children still experience the world around them mostly through a multidimensional lense. They use all of their five senses far more than adults do and that is why we sometimes perceive their behaviour to be very physical and 'rowdy'. It is not that they are rowdy but rather that they don't process the world around them through thinking. The world is still a relatively new place to them and so they need to take it all in to understand how they form part of it. Think of yourself on holiday in a new place. Think of the first few hours that you spend in that new place 😮 You are more aware of the smells, the sounds, the way everything is laid out around you, the new tastes and textures. You take it all in at your own pace and savour it because it is new and exciting. In those days that you are in a different place, you are connected to a new sense of discovery and possibility. You remember what it is like to be free to wander and explore, you are more aware of what is around you as you move through the space and you definitely take much less for granted. In many ways, you become a child again and this is why holidays are so reinvigorating. For little children, the everyday world can often feel magical in the same way that our holiday vacations feel magical to us. Little children are able to simply be...to be in the moment, to be fully focused on what they are doing, to be free of the million thoughts that so often plague the adult mind and simply explore and discover new things... And this, my friends, is why they love stories so much! Stories take us on holiday even when we haven't gone anywhere. They present us with the possibility to travel through new worlds, meet new people (or creatures) and go on adventures that thrill and excite us. Stories allow us to remain children, to continue being in the world in a state of joy, to develop our sense of 'I see, I wonder'. I know that for us, sharing stories becomes just another thing that we have to do every day because our children seem to need it. However, if we are able to slow down just a little and savour the moment we will find that story sharing can also become part of our own self-care. Actually tuning in to the stories that we share with our children rather than completing the task on automatic, can be immensely nourishing for us. And, that is my invitation to you today. It is also the reason why I set up the storytelling club. I know it is easier for you to model how I introduce the children to stories and help them relate to them so now we have a monthly appointment to meet up and do this together. I pushed the fee as low as I could...just circa $8 a month with our current 50% discount using the code HALFOFFSTORY . For $8 you receive a themed story pack and workbook with 12 printables and 12 audios, as well as a live online storytelling session each month. SIGN ME UP NOW! I know right...pure gold. Jump on board today before the special launch price goes away. Looking forward to meeting you for our first session soon! Remember, meanwhile, take good care of yourself. So much love, Giuliana
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